The following questionnaire is an effective assessment to find out if you have love addiction problems, and determine whether you are a love addict or not. Feel free to print this page and answer the questions with a Yes or No.
- I repeatedly fall into hurtful, destructive relationships. Yes __ No __
- I typically fall in love, get crushes on, or obsess on unavailable/avoidant individuals. Yes __ No __
- I tend to rush into love relationships too quickly without truly getting to know my partner. Yes __ No __
- I get stuck in relationships that aren't going anywhere. Yes __ No __
- I tend to fall for partners who cannot or will not love me in return. Yes __ No __
- I let fantasies take the place of real relationships. Yes __ No __
- I have a great fear of being alone. Yes __ No __
- I feel lonely and unhappy when I am not in a relationship (single). Yes __ No __
- I crave intensity in relationships while fearing true intimacy/little sharing of real substance. Yes __ No __
- When I love someone, I fear he/she will find someone better than me. Yes __ No __
- I panic at the thought of my partner not loving me; and eventually 'abandoning' me. Yes __ No __
- I become so preoccupied in fulfilling the expectations of my partner that I lose touch with my own feelings. Yes __ No __
- I often need constant approval and reassurance from my partner to feel secure and good about myself. Yes __ No __
- I tend to use a love relationship to help me feel alive, worthy, and valuable. Yes __ No __
- 1.I tend to compromise my own values and integrity to avoid being alone; left or abandoned. Yes __ No __
- I seem to always fall for relationship partners who are Narcissistic or Grandiose ("It's all about him/or her"). Yes __ No __
- .I can often be demanding; suffocating and smothering my partner in relationships. Yes __ No __
- I have difficulty letting go of a romantic relationship as I feel I cannot survive without him or her; because it is too painful to end it; even if I know he/she is bad for me. Yes __ No __
- I tend to use fantasy in place of true love and intimacy. Yes __ No __
- .I will say anything, do anything, and suffer anything to avoid being alone? Yes __ No __
- I crave love/intimacy/closeness, but run from (sabotage) it at the same time. Yes __ No __
- My relationships feel like a roller coaster of highs & lows (mostly lows) with an anxiety ridden push-pull dynamic. Yes __ No __
- I believe to love is to have extreme chemistry, passion, or high intensity in a relationship. Yes __ No __
- I tolerate intolerable or unacceptable behaviors in relationships. Yes __ No __
- I tend to minimize or ignore obvious "red flags" of a potential relationship partner (i.e., addictions, unhealthy attitudes, past relationship patterns, destructive behaviors) and only see what I want to see in him/her. Yes __ No __
- I have difficulty with loving myself and need constant validation from my partner to feel worthy. Yes __ No __
- I have difficulty setting appropriate boundaries in relationships.. Yes __ No __
- .I have difficulty taking care of my own needs and wants and place my partners needs and wants, over my own. Yes __ No __
- I tend to idealize my partner; put him/her on a pedestal; see them as stronger or "better than," and me as weaker and "less-than.” Yes __ No __
- Despite evidence, I often tell myself my relationship will get better; that my partner will be like he or she was in the beginning. Yes __ No __
- I tend to give too much, do too much for my partner while receiving less and less. Yes __ No __
- I often take full responsibility for problems in my relationships; or I hold my partner fully responsible for all the problems in the relationship. Yes __ No __
- I often try to change, convince, or control my partner so they will fulfill my fantasy of what I want him/her to be. Yes __ No __
- I tend to give up or disregard personal goals, likes, values, needs/wants while placing all my focus on my relationship. Yes __ No __
- During a breakup or divorce, I tend to experience intense withdrawal symptoms (i.e., obsession, loneliness, despair, depression, loss of identity; desperate need to reestablish contact ex-partner for relief). Yes __ No __
* If you answered Yes to at least five of these statements, you likely have problems with love addiction and may be a love addict. If you’re a love addict … there is an answer, RECOVERY. And you are at the right place to find the solutions and clarity you need.
Love Addiction = Self Abandonment
Love Addiction is a true (common) addiction. Love addiction is often as debilitating as any other kind of addiction (if not more so) and greatly influence the quality of our relationships, well-being, and life.
Change is possible.
We rarely are unable to participate in a mature love relationship before we develop the ability to provide ourselves self-respect and self-love. An obsession with anything such as a relationship (the drug) outside the self is an extremely unhealthy coping mechanism that does little in meeting one's own needs and wants; especially in the long run. It does provide a distraction from dealing with the inner self- however, only temporarily.
Change is to human life what the metamorphosis is to the caterpillar. It is the inevitable cycle of life. If there is no change, there is no life. If you are love addicted, change won't happen by itself. You can't just say, "I'm going to stop picking unhealthy, avoidant, narcissistic partners" ... sorry, it just doesn't't work that way.
Most changes begin in the mind with a willingness, a desire, then a decision- then action. This changes your attitude, which changes your feelings, which changes your life. It is the proverbial ripple effect. Changing includes both outer modifications of behavior and an inner shift in values, and thinking patterns- including eradicating our inner shame-based tapes (messages/false beliefs), which we unknowlingly internalized long ago- then, carried this shame into adulthood. Until we make these shifts, we continue to hold onto the lies, distortions, and false beliefs about ourself, relationships, even the world.
The positive changes you can make in recovery will be based on real experience, valuable insights, and powerful recovery tools. The founder of this site, Jim Hall, MS, Love Addiction Expert wants to help you discover the strategies that are proven to work and help you break your love addiction and start living a healthy, happy life with relationships that bring out the best in you.
If you are love addicted -- whether you're in a current relationship, withdrawing from a break up or love loss, single, or searching for a healthy, fulfilling, long-lasting romantic relationship ... you are right where you are suppose to be. With the right solutions and guidance from the Love Addiction Expert, you CAN break free and recover from addictive loving.
If you are ready to stop this cunning problem- start now by doing one thing for yourself-- take one simple step to jumpstart positive change in your life. What will be the price tag, or the consequences in your life if you don't do anything to become free from addictive loving? The answer-- the same as it has always been...